9 Month Developmental Stage

The key phrase this month is: SEPARATION ANXIETY
The definition of SEPARATION ANXIETY: scream and cry as loud as possible whenever either/both parent(s) leave the room; do this even if you are still able to see them; increase intensity of screaming and crying as the amount of daylight decreases.
The definition of SEPARATION ANXIETY, modifier WITH TWINS: if our sibling is screaming and crying by all means, join in.

As you can see, I fixed the sidebar myself.

Help
I've screwed up my blog. I've somehow messed up the code in my template so that now you cannont see 95% of the lefthand side of my blog! I had all of my links there. I was going to edit them but now I'm not sure what to do. Help!

Small Doses

Something is going on, and I need a remedy. It's no secret that I take medication which I started taking for post-partum depression/anxiety. I've really always been an anxious person. I probably needed medication a long time ago. So, for the past two months (that I've noticed... maybe longer, if you ask my husband) I've been more depressed, crying more often, more irritable, more impatient. It seems to be worse/coincide with the week before my menstrual period. I could write it off as "just PMS," which is what I've told myself for the past two days. Now, I really feel quite intolerable to myself. So the question is, do I need a higher dose of medication? Do I just need to "deal with it"? Do I need to see about going back to a therapist? Do I just need more sleep? Is it just PMS? Do I have that PMS disorder that's now in the DSM? These are all questions running through my head. (Another symptom that has returned -- ruminations that don't stop)

What's your diagnosis, doctor blog?

Sick

Both boys are sick. I took Cole to the doctor yesterday and he has a ear infection. Aidan has the same symptoms minus the severe inability to sleep and complaining that Cole has done. Wednesday night/Thursday AM Cole and I were up most of the time. He just could not sleep. So my mom came and got them so I could sleep for a few hours. Then we all drove to Dandridge to take my brother to a school golf tournament. We tried to find the mall in Morristown but we just ended up at the Goodwill.

Mom kept the boys last night so that I could sleep then too. The doctor put Cole on an antibiotic. Now i feel guilty because Aidan probably has the same thing but with no antibiotic.

Sometimes there is so much going on, I just don't feel like I can get the right thing done.

I have to go back to work today. I get aggrivated with my supervisior I have on Fridays. This person constantly questions my decisions. When someone constantly questions you, the you start questioning yourself. I don't like that feeling. I used to feel that way on my own all the time. I've gotten much better about that in the past few years, but now this particular person brings all of those feelings back.

I would really like to go back to bed now for a little while. Maybe another hour. I wish I could just stay home. All the time.

Wednesday

I probably won't be able to blog much tomorrow. Mom called and asked if we wanted to go to the Pancake Pantry with her in the morning. She will be here at 8 am and we will drop off cory's truck to have the breaks checked. The Pancake Pantry is several miles away. I can't remember if she said Pigeon Forge or Gatlinburg? Oh well, either way, we will be there all morning. Maybe we'll hit the outlet malls while we are there.

Aidan & Cole's to do list: PLAY! 

Cole "helps" with the laundry 

Today's To Do List

1. Laundry
2. Laundry
3. Laundry
4. Clean Bathroom
5. Dishes left over from dinner my husband cooked last night (when I was at work)
6. Place ads for babysitter in local newspapers
7. Parenting Class
8. Collapse

Sleep?

For the past two nights the boys have not slept well. It was mainly Cole, but Aidan was restless enough that he woke up a couple of times when Cole would cry. They both have runny/stuffy noses but of course, it is worse at night.

I saw a guy yesterday who came to the trauma hospital b/c he had hung himself. He gave me this big, contrived story about how it was an accident. Yeah. Right. If it was an accident, this guy deserves a Darwin Award.

I need to find a baby sitter for Monday's ASAP. I thought I would have someone come thru for me, but it didn't work out. I'll be redoubling my efforts today on my breaks to find one.

oh my, i am so tired...

I thought that damn groundhog didn't see his shadow, or whatever, so that we were NOT going to have 6 more weeks of winter. My feet are freakin' freezing over here!

Yesterday's Doctor Visit

I took the boys to the doctor yesterday... by myself. I did it at their last visit and it was ok, but now that Cole is crawling, I will not be taking them to the doctor by myself anymore. Cory will just have to take PTO or we will just have to go on a day when someone else is available. It's just too much.

The boys weighed exactly the same, 17 lbs, 5 oz. Aidan has finally caught up!

Aidan has had some issues with his gross motor development and we had to have a PT evaluation. We are participating in the Tennessee Early Intervention System (TEIS) and we are actually developing an Individual Service Plan (ISP) today so that they can pay for his PT follow ups. Well, NOW the doctor is concerned about Aidan's right eye being turned inward somewhat, crossed, you might say. So NOW we have an appointment with a pediatric eye doctor in May and I will also discuss this for his ISP. I told my mom about all of this and her comment was, "That little squirt!"

I will not worry about any of this stuff with Aidan because he is healthy, he is funny, and he seems to be happy, unless hungry or tired.

Another positive note: we made almost $150 on the children's sale items we sold on Saturday. Now we can buy groceries and gasoline! yay!

The downside to all of the running I've done in the past 2 days: My lower back is killing me. Our house is a mess and I don't feel like doing any of the work. And it hurts to bend down. if it's not one thing...

Cory brought home a new toy for the boys. It's this activity thing with lights and such. It smells like cigarette smoke. Any ideas on how to get that smell out of something plastic? Smoking is nasty.

I am back to blogging so I'd love to hear from some of you who used to comment. I guess everyone thinks I'm gone for good and do not even read me anymore. Oh well... at least I get it all out for my own benefit.

Wiped Out

I am attending a parenting class every Tuesday afternoon since last week. The discussion today was very interesting. All of the parents there were moms. Some of the moms were questioning "tantrums" and "bad behavior" in children who are still infants, 7, 8 mos. old. It continually amazes me that the greatest "job" and hardest "work" in the world does not come with instructions or training is not required. The woman teaching our class is SO knowledgable and explains things so well. She mentioned some research that was done on corporal punishment. The studies apparently looked at inmates in San Quentin prison and another studied first time offenders in a state I can now no longer recall. All of the inmates at San Quentin had been hit as children and 80% of the first timers had been hit as children. WOW. What are we doing? This is proof that most people don't know what the hell they are doing.

So the boys played with the child care workers for a few hours during the class, then we went to our Mother Goose music class. We are all worn out. I must be fighting sleep like they were. I'm just catching up with some old blogging buddies.

Blogs are Weird

What do you think? Do you think it strange that we put some of our most intimate thoughts out there on the internet for others to read? What is so attractive about the blog? Why would some find it strange? Do we just want to live vicariously through others? Sometimes I find myself doing this.

Babies Update
If you have not seen the pictures yet, Cole is crawling EVERYWHERE. Aidan is saying dadadada and many other nonsense syllables. Aidan had to have a physical therapy evaluation because the doctor thought he was "lagging" too much. He is ok, just a little floppy and needs to do some exercises. For their gestational age, he is on target. That must mean that Cole is miles ahead in gross motor skills. He has always been "strong." One of my assignments for my parenting class is to make a book about both of my boys. I don't feel like going to bed, so I may start on that now... night.

Today is Monday but it is my "Friday." I am ready for 3 days off! The only problem with Mondays is I have a temporary babysitter. I need to find a new babysitter. Stressful.

Cory informed me this morning that we are not broke. He subtracted something from the checkbook 2x and we actually do have some money! Now I can go fill my gas tank up with overpriced fuel!

For the past two days, I have now realized that it is very strange when your work and your personal life cross paths. Especially the work I do...

I posted earlier today, however, blogger wasn't being kind. I lost my post.

More pictures here.

I took a bunch of stuff to the children's sale at church tonight. The sale is Saturday. Too bad that we are broke; I saw a bunch of stuff I'd like to have.

Better go to bed while I can sleep.

Today is Monday but really Friday for me. Since I work F,S,S,M, I enjoy Mondays because I get three days off after that.

Wouldn't you know it, I sit down to blog and one of the boys begins to wake from his nap.

I have LOTS more pictures to upload to the boy's blog. Check them out!!

the boys spent the night with their gigi last night. We are going to the twins sale today. No, that is not where they sell twin children. The area twins/parents of multiples club has a consignment sale every year. I do not participate because being a member of the club costs money. I need money for things like, oh, food.

I miss my blogging. it was a way for me to put down some thoughts and feelings about some things that i don't always get to say out loud. i think it's time to come back to that.

I think i was having some revulsion from the computer because my last job required that I use it so much. There is such a thing as over use and over-stimulation. I was spending too much time in front of "screens". I don't do well living like that. i realize this now because I've stayed away from the computer and the TV for about a month now. I cut down on TV for lent. I've started reading books again instead of turning on the television to go to sleep at night. It is much more relaxing to read books.

So anyway, i am waiting for my mom to come by and pick me up so we can go to the sale where I will try to not spend a lot of money that I do not have.

Oh where oh where has my little blog gone? Oh where oh where could she be? With her time so short and her posts so long, oh where oh where could she be? (sung to the tune of "Oh where oh where has my little dog gone?")

I am posting pictures on the Aidan & Cole Blog.

Love ya!