I went home from work last night and cried. It felt really good. Cory held me for a little while and that helped A LOT. We were supposed to go to a movie but we decided that it would be better for me not to sit that long anymore.

I think my emotions have been so out of control because I am struggling with the decision to change doctors. I told my mother in law I was thinking about changing and apparently she took that as a license to tell other people. Other than having this very public diary on the internet, I am a private person when it comes to my business. I don't want everyone to know, even if they are "trying to help." Usually trying to help means you didn't ask me if I wanted your help. She told her niece, who works in the health care field, about my thoughts. So the niece chimes in that she didn't think that a doctor would take me so late in pregnancy. HELLO! I am the consumer here. If I want to switch then I should be able to do it.

So here is my dilemma: am I being irrational in wanting to change doctors? I need to decide soon so I'm going to make some phone calls and try to get some answers today. I meet with my doula tonight. She is a very wise woman so I'll talk to her about this too.

I'll write some about the stupidity here at work later.