2 down, 2 to go... Two co workers are out sick. One has back problems and could barely walk yesterday. The other started puking here at work and just left. In a small office of only four people, it gets very quiet when two are gone. Sometimes... then the phone could just ring off the hook... it hasn't done that, yet.

I did have a woman call who was so wigged out that she was sobbing when she called and couldn't stop. I hope I connected her to some help she can get TODAY. The mental health system sucks.

I've put off working on the Zoo event for Children's Mental Health week for this afternoon. I've been working on another event that is the weekend before the zoo event. I am feeling overwhelmed. This is the wrong time for me to feel stressed and overwhelmed. so I am just going to do one thing at a time and let it go. I can't control the outcome of everything I'm involved in. A lot of this stuff is done in committees and coalitions and if everyone does not pull their weight, then they can only blame themselves.

I made some phone calls to some other doctors and I have one consultation appointment set up. I wish that i didn't have to make an appointment because going to the doctor takes up so much time. I'm not switching hospitals, just doctors. I need to find a doctor who is doula-friendly and who can consider the possibility of not destroying my body. I think that my cynical outlook on life makes me think that a lot of what happens in childbirth is unnecessary. Doctors are so busy they just want to do whatever will get you out of there as quick as possible. So procedures like episiotomies and cesarean sections are seen as the "norm." And they really don't have to be. I just can't seem to move past the fact that I wanted to use a midwife and I just can't do that now. I HATE feeling out of control like that.