so i've been thinking about writing lately. i used to write so much, and several years ago, i actually used to be quite good at it. i always have so much in my mind that i want to just get it out. i can't really do it at work; i'm afriad someone is 'watching' me each time i get on the internet.

i also used to read so much more than i do now. the thought of picking up a book right now even scares me it is so foreign. i just don't feel much like myself anymore. and i really don't like who is here.

i don't know why i was given so many to care for. even before i had children, i felt like it was a chore just to care for myself. i'm feeling quite down in the dumps today. wah wah wah