Yes, it really is almost 4 am. By the time I finish this post, it will be 4 am.

I can't turn my mind off. I hate that about my mental state sometimes. One of my classes in grad school went indepth into severe mental illnesses and personality disorders. We all wondered at the defintions and diagnoses because we could all see aspects of ourselves in the disorders, especially personality disorders. The professor of this class said that everyone probably has some of these attributes at sometimes, but to call it an illness was a matter of severity.

I went into all of that just to say that I often get these "manic" tendencies. I have periods of time where I have more energy than usual and my mind won't shut off. For someone with the illness bipolar disorder, the mania would be so severe that they could not function. Now, you might say that I won't be able to function tomorrow or the next day when the sleep deprivation hits. That just might speak to the subjective nature of diagnosing mental illnesses.

Whew! what a tangent.

I fed the boys at 2 am. They both have been down for almost an hour. They have not been quiet since. I can't tell if both of them are making noises or if it is just one of them. It would be funny if it were in the middle of the day or if I weren't trying to sleep. When my mom kept them last night, she upped their bottle to 4 ounces. They have been going 4 hours between feedings since she did that. So if they continue that pattern, I have about 2 more hours I could sleep if I could fall asleep now.

I just started taking my birth control pills again. I wonder if those hormones are keeping me awake. I wish I could take some benadryl, but that would make me too sleepy.

I'm sure that you are falling asleep reading this extremely boring post. I will bore you no longer!