Saturday, May 29, 2004

Cathy wants me to put a link in my blog that would take you to a picture of me. I really am disturbed by these pictures. I did not realize how disgustingly obese I am.

Yes yes yes ok ok ok, I KNOW that I am pregnant, believe me I KNOW. But I was already overweight before I got pregnant. Now I have a double chin and fat hanging off of my upper arms in greater quantities. I don't want to be a fat mommy.

The strange thing is, I don't see myself this way when I look in a mirror. Are all of my mirrors rigged? Everyone tells me that I look great. Are they just telling me that to be nice? What are they really thinking? "Oh poor pregnant girl, she is just fat all over."

Say what you want, I don't think it will help. This is something personal that I've been dealing with/denying for several years. Something I have to change inside of myself. I don't like feeling this way.

2 Comments:

Blogger Kristal said...

I feel the same way, but in reverse. Every time I've been pregnant I've lost an average of thirty pounds. I hear for six months or so how fantastic I look. I think I am the only person to leave the maternity ward ten pounds heavier! LOL...

At least you have an excuse! Hang in there...

8:26 PM  
Blogger Cathy said...

That is a great picture of you. You are going through two pregnancies at the same time and you have a lot of baby in your tummy.

8:30 PM  

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