I decided to come home. When i got home, I slept for almost 2 hours. Apparently, i needed to sleep!

I called to see if i had any messages at work -- none.

Cory calls from work and says that he has had a bad day. My stomach sank to the floor. He works at a bank in a training program to be an operations supervisor. he was put on probation about a month ago for some problems he has had while working at the teller window. He has been doing so well, and now, he calls to tell me that his drawer is short. Apparently they told him he had a limit on being short and he is $4 below that limit.

He tells me that he is more stressed than i have ever seen him. he feels like he is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. when he gets like this, especially about his jobs/work, he starts talking about leaving and finding another job.

All the while, I am screaming on the inside. HE has the insurance coverage through his job. No one will pick us up with me being pregnant. not only that, but I cannot handle this any more. I am the one having the breakdown because I feel like my husband can't keep it together to provide for our family. it's not just about the income, it really is about the insurance AND the fact that he has jumped from job to job trying to find what he wants to do. he is so impulsive that he will quit and move to another type of job without really thinking it through.

He keeps talking about "nervous breakdowns" and such. I know what that means. i am relying on him to be strong, and apparently, he doesn't have the emotional strength to carry us. I can't say anything or any of this because he will blow up at me. i can't even be my "counselor self" and just reflect his feelings back to him because my feelings are all tied up in this too. I can't be his therapist and that's what he needs. i can't even tell him to go see a therapist. i've tried and he won't do it.

I have to get myself under control before he gets home because now I have to try to be the strong one. I don't know what else to do.